The Intimacy Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to very tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, wellness, closeness, and love .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urban locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself basics is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't Visit Your URL going to be good?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining wikipedia reference chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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