The Sex Snare, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, making love carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to very hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of destination, enjoyment, well-being, closeness, and love .

But when problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urban locations, sex is easily available, which in itself Oxytocin is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay guys want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't check my site manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make visit your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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