The Sexuality Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

But when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that many of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?". i thought about this

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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